Beautiful Butterfly

Children are simply amazing. They can come out with the most creative answer and do things you out of expectation. I read these on TheStar and it’s really funny!Children, you simply love them!

Pregnant mermaids and oysters’ balls

HERE are snippets from children writing about the sea: 

·  This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age six)   

·  Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (James, six) 

·  If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don’t have sea all round you, you are in continent. (

Wayne

, seven) 

·  Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend no more. (Kylie, six) 

·  A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, eight) 

·  My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie, six) 

·  When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn’t blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William, seven) 

·  I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen, six) 

·  I’m not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, six) 

·  Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, seven) 

·  When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, six) 

·  Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, eight) 

God’s watching!

Nothing beats honesty and wisdom, straight from the mouths of babes.

THE teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. 

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human – it was physically impossible. 

The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah. 

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” 

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.” 

A KINDERGARTEN teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The child replied, “I’m drawing God.” 

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” 

Without looking up from her drawing, the child said, “They will in a minute.” 

A SUNDAY school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to “honour” thy father and thy mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” 

Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.” 

ONE day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out on her brunette head. 

“Why are some of your hairs white, mum?” 

“Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” 

The girl thought about this for a while, then said, “How come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?” 

THE children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer.’ Or, ‘That’s Michael. He’s a doctor’.” 

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher. She’s dead.” 

A TEACHER was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.” 

“Yes,” the class said. 

“Then why is it that while I am standing upright, the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” 

A little fellow shouted, “Because your feet ain’t empty.” 

THE children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. 

The nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” 

Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note: “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

When u’re single and doing a routine job everyday, u wouldn’t have realised how fast clock is ticking. It’s not as if I don’t appreciate time, I do but when I was younger and just out from uni with my first job, I wished I was 27 or 28 then. That’s becoz at that time, ppl still regard u as a freshie and naive. You still have to depend on your parents ( sometimes) for financial support though I’m glad to say that since I got my first job, I have been able to pay my insurance, car instalment and etc without any help.

Also, looking back 1 year ago where I was anticipating for the birth of my first child and when he was born, I kept asking when he will start his first baby language of ga-ga, his first smile, his first body roll over, his first teeth, first crawl, stand unsupported and finally walk. Why? Firstly so that he won’t be so dependable on us the adults to meet his needs and secondly, it’s a joy to see him achieving all these. For those who has been there as parents, you’ll know what I meant. You’ll know how proud you are and you can also see the brightly lit face of your toddler.

My son achieved all that and he started walking after his first birthday and mind you I was overjoyed when he took his first few steps! Now, he’s quiet pro in his walking. Then there was the proud moment of bringing him to the mall and letting him walk independently while he explore his new surrounding. It’s fun, ppl actually tried to coaxed him to walk over to their side because it’s so funny the way he walked… like a duckling and not straight. The moment before he fell, he was able to regain control again and walk.

Now that he’s walking, it doesn’t mean I can sit down and relax. I have to start running after him with my bulging stomach making sure he doesn’t play with dirty or dangerous stuffs while you know you can NEVER ask a child to sit still. Time spent with him is never boring, it’ll only make you exasperated. There are time he plays with his urine, shit, jumping from the sofa, pooking his fingers into the electrical code, opening and taking everything out from the drawers and God knows what else!

Am I anticipating the birth of my second baby? I do but I also wish that I’m back in my life as single where I can just lay lazily on my bed the whole day, not getting any food or urine on my clothes and chit-chatting with my girlfriends over our dreamguys, shopping for sexy clothes (now I have to think of which sensible clothes to wear so that my little one won’t pull easily and exposed my chest) and make-up.