Beautiful Butterfly

Being a controller ,I like my life the way I want it so if it’s out my control, I would somehow freak out and don’t know what to do. I’m not saying that I don’t like surprises but I definitely do not know how to react to it.Of course I would be able to regain my composure and work things out as I know, some things are totally out of control.

My little surprise came a few days after I miss my period ( yea, you would have guess it) and knowing that I have it on time for the passed few months, I bought a pregnancy test kit, two times. Yes, eventhough it’s a faint line, I refuse to believe that I am pregnant again barely a year after giving birth.

Finally the truth set in when I decided to check it out with my gynaecologist. The test is double confirm with a vaginal check (don’t ask me what it is) Here I am in my 7th week into my second pregnancy…if you must know , it is calculated from the first day of the last period and I am feeling a mixture of upset and happy. It’s not because I do not like babies, in fact i adore them. How can you when they are so pure and innocent…and cute but I haven’t get over my first pregancy blues….yes, i think i did have a mild pre- and post natal depression. The changed of hormones causes all the ups and downs and I easily get emotional.The responsibility of being a first time mother does not help either.

Just as I am not over with the tiredness of bringing up the first one, I felt myself being thrown into a bigger responsibility. With all the sleepless nights to feed my baby, now I have to face fatigue and insomnia…all the signs of being pregnant. On doctor’s advice, I have to wean my first baby from breast milk so that I have enough nutrition for both me and the one inside my stomach. It was said that it’s not so easy to get pregnant while breastfeeding….yea right! I must be the lucky one. I gave my husband a hard time for the first few days but surprisingly after the test is confirm by the gynae, I accepted it calmly.

Unlike the first time, I now know what to except of my pregnancy and be prepared to go through the journey. Yes, it’s a Life I am bearing though my little zygot still has the tadpole look.Unlike the first pregnancy, I already have an early attachment with the baby inside me. It’s a Gift from God as my friend said, some can’t even get pregnant so I am so lucky to have them so easily and with my babies age gap so close, I can raise them together and in few years time, I will be more free. Afterall, Yiyan will have a playmate soon….talk about bringing down the house with their noise. Yea, even as Yiyan is nine months now, he is able to make my younger sister cry from taking care of him. See how nice he is *wink*

This entry was posted on Friday, March 24th, 2006 at 8:04 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.