Beautiful Butterfly

Being a controller ,I like my life the way I want it so if it’s out my control, I would somehow freak out and don’t know what to do. I’m not saying that I don’t like surprises but I definitely do not know how to react to it.Of course I would be able to regain my composure and work things out as I know, some things are totally out of control.

My little surprise came a few days after I miss my period ( yea, you would have guess it) and knowing that I have it on time for the passed few months, I bought a pregnancy test kit, two times. Yes, eventhough it’s a faint line, I refuse to believe that I am pregnant again barely a year after giving birth.

Finally the truth set in when I decided to check it out with my gynaecologist. The test is double confirm with a vaginal check (don’t ask me what it is) Here I am in my 7th week into my second pregnancy…if you must know , it is calculated from the first day of the last period and I am feeling a mixture of upset and happy. It’s not because I do not like babies, in fact i adore them. How can you when they are so pure and innocent…and cute but I haven’t get over my first pregancy blues….yes, i think i did have a mild pre- and post natal depression. The changed of hormones causes all the ups and downs and I easily get emotional.The responsibility of being a first time mother does not help either.

Just as I am not over with the tiredness of bringing up the first one, I felt myself being thrown into a bigger responsibility. With all the sleepless nights to feed my baby, now I have to face fatigue and insomnia…all the signs of being pregnant. On doctor’s advice, I have to wean my first baby from breast milk so that I have enough nutrition for both me and the one inside my stomach. It was said that it’s not so easy to get pregnant while breastfeeding….yea right! I must be the lucky one. I gave my husband a hard time for the first few days but surprisingly after the test is confirm by the gynae, I accepted it calmly.

Unlike the first time, I now know what to except of my pregnancy and be prepared to go through the journey. Yes, it’s a Life I am bearing though my little zygot still has the tadpole look.Unlike the first pregnancy, I already have an early attachment with the baby inside me. It’s a Gift from God as my friend said, some can’t even get pregnant so I am so lucky to have them so easily and with my babies age gap so close, I can raise them together and in few years time, I will be more free. Afterall, Yiyan will have a playmate soon….talk about bringing down the house with their noise. Yea, even as Yiyan is nine months now, he is able to make my younger sister cry from taking care of him. See how nice he is *wink*

What would you expect from a group of people with different walk of lives that you met through a program two years ago and got really close together for that three months? I admit I was in doubt when it was suggested that we should get-together once again for two days one night at Fraser Hill. 23 people out of 63 people from the course two years ago made a stand to create this special get-together. I haven’t expected it but FUN is all I get. Of course there were changes in everyone’s lives. I am married and a mother to a nine months baby. From that 23 people, two were divorced now, one got registered, four paired up and etc but one thing is for sure…everyone is still very much the same person I knew two years ago.

Fun was created simply by being authenthic, going all out and giving 100% in everything we do during that outing. There was really no worries but we never compromised safety. We went by 6 cars but we had walkie talkies to keep us together and entertain each other during the drive.We had 3 photographers to snap all the natural and funny poses and we did it together whether it’s some games or simply going for a short walk. There was no grumbling or anyone giving troubles to the group. When it was decided to go into the waterfall, everyone is into it and when we had games later at night, everyone jumped into it and give it all out eventhough some of the punishments was really outrageous and totally the opposite of the person’s personalities.We also got a little bit more personal by having a truth or dare games by asking some really intimate questions.

We had a short jungle trekking the next morning before packing to go off. The trip, though short is really memorable and I felt so refreshed as if all the negative energies from work and stuffs were all gone. We definitely will have another get-together in the future and I believe that the group will get bigger.